the day larten got a giant puppy
by lartenisamazing
Summary: This is where something got into the bat broth and made the vampires hallucinate. Vampires have unicorns and Larten sing Elvis. Vancha licks legs and some princes sing about butterflies. it is random in places. this is short and only one chapter but please read and review! : : :


**I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE DARREN SHAN SAGA CHARACTERS MENTIONED OR ELVIS or HIS SONGS (even though I would love to, but I cannot .) this is a one off please read and review as this is my first story. Yes it is a bit random and short.**

**The Day Larten Got A Puppy**

Paris and Seba finished their bat broth and walked out to talk declaring they would come back in five minutes when Vancha, Darren and Larten were almost finished. Darren thought he heard something about weird tasting broth…

"Mr Crepsley! Mr Crepsley! Look at me I have something to say! Look at me!" a hyper Darren shouted excitedly at his mentor, who was less than impressed.

"What you infantile piece of scum?" Mr Crepsley shouted back annoyed at why he had given the half-vampire an energy drink.

"I NEED a unicorn." Darren said in the sanest voice without laughing.

Mr Crepsley could not understand why Darren would possibly need a unicorn. Yes it is common courtesy for a full vampire to have one but why would a delirious child ever want one? He pondered for a minute then replyed.

"You can borrow my unicorn Sparkles or Vancha's unicorn Glitter, it is your choice. That is my only offer."

"Look at me! Look at me! I need to say something!" Darren continued randomly.

"What!" Larten Crepsley was now more annoyed than ever, his face was as red as his cape with anger.

"I like Steve" Darren declared.

"What th-"

"I love his hair and the way he smiles just makes my heart melt. I also like you Larten."

Now Mr Crepsley was scared.

Paris and Seba finished their bat broth and walked out to talk declaring they would come back in five minutes when Vancha, Darren and Larten were almost finished. Darren thought he heard something about weird tasting broth…

Then out of the sky rode down Paris Skyle and Seba Nile on the pinkest unicorns in the world singing about their love for butterfly's. Never before had the two most respected vampires disgraced themselves in nothing more than a loin cloth in front of the humans. All the Little People then started to circle Mr Crepsley as his unicorn started to sing Elvis, then in sudden movement Larten ripped off his clothes to reveal a suit like Elvis's. Then lip syncing Mr Crepsley did a performance of Elvis's greatest hits.

Darren sunk back into the corner. He thought he was hallucinating but that thought quickly evaporated as a giant puppy peed on him. His day was about to get even weirder when Vancha started to pole dance on the giant puppies leg trying to grab Darren's wandering attention. When Vancha finally caught hold of it he asked,

"May I lick your leg?"

Darren was still hyper so on an impulse he lifted up the leg of his trouser and said in a pervy voice

"Go on I dare you."

Larten stopped mid performance to see what Vancha was doing to Darren. What he saw though made him have a heart attack (if vampires can have heart attacks) and fell to the floor where all his fangirls mobbed him and took him away. The little person called Harkat jumped on Sparkles the unicorn and picked up the middle of the song where Larten left it.

Darren and Vancha got up to go to get a room when Darren saw Steve in his speedos and tried to get to him, but alas Steve was also mobbed by fangirls and taken away. Darren started to cry and tell Vancha all of his woes; apparently Vancha made a good therapist and is now making a T.V. show on how to overcome emotional obstacles.

An hour later Seba, Paris and Harkat stopped singing and Darren stopped talking. All was quiet. Larten and Steve returned and Vancha returned to being disgusting, all was well. The unicorns got free and mated with the new forest ponies, which was thier dream and had a family of their own. The giant puppy was Lartens to keep. All the individuals involved decided never to speak of this day again ever. No more magic mushrooms would contaminate the bat broth again.

**Hoped you like it :P **


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